Himeko's Confession
by dr.hamstervil
Summary: Himeko confessed-sort of. Chikane, on the other hand, is trying to sort out how she really feels about Himeko's (sort of) confession. Weekly update! Ratings will change, of course. AU, OOC.
1. Chapter 1

It was just another lunch Himeko: a bento, sandwich, black tea, and an idyllic spring afternoon with her bestfriend since only- gods-know-when Himemiya Chikane.

Or at least it would have been had it not been for Himeko's confession. As far as historical accuracies are concerned, it went a little something like this:

"Chikane-chan?" Himeko was almost whispering.

"Hmm?" her Student Council President / Bestfriend Extraordinaire looked up from her tea.

"Have you heard about Daidouji Tomoyo, the famous designer?" Himeko was not even eating her bento now. She was just rolling her food around nervously hoping; praying to the gods that the conversation she had been practicing for weeks now would go as planned.

"Yes. I like her designs. She's my go-to designer when Otoha fails me. What about her?" Of course she knew THE Daidouji Tomoyo. Himeko knew her bestfriend was downplaying the part about liking Daidouji's designs. She didn't like them. She loved them. Her dresses were almost exclusively from the famous designer.

"So you heard about her marriage then?" Himeko was really trying hard to sound comfortable now. She was almost getting to the point…almost there…

"Hmm?" Himemiya Chikane looked up thoughtfully for a moment. "Ah yes. She finally married her bestfriend, Kinemoto Sakura, right? I was invited but I couldn't make it. We had finals then." She shrugged as if it was nothing.

It was not nothing and Himeko knew this. Only the elites were invited and Chikane was personally invited. Himeko knew this because why else would Daidouji Tomoyo go to Mahoroba? It wasn't as if Mahoroba was a tourist spot. It was a small, idyllic, lazy, and mostly rural town. Everybody knew that the only reason famous and important people go to Mahoroba was to see the heir to the Himemiya Group of Companies who adamantly refused to go to Tokyo for her schooling.

"But you know about this, Himeko, so why are you asking?" Chikane had placed her cup of tea down and was now looking curiously at Himeko.

"Well…I was—uhmm—wondering… What did you think of it?" Himeko nervously swallowed and focused on trying to look…comfortable. She wasn't, of course. Her blood was racing and her heart was pumping. She could swear Chikane was just ignoring how loudly Himeko's heart was pumping.

"Of the wedding, you mean?" Chikane asked.

"Well…yeah. I guess." Himeko had now begun rubbing out something from her skirt in an effort to avoid Chikane's curious stare.

"I don't really qualify as a good judge. I didn't attend the ceremonies, remember? But the pictures they sent looked really good." Chikane shrugged.

"I see…"

(awkward silence)

"…I'm gay."

Himeko didn't dare look at her bestfriend's reaction. The conversation was not how she planned it. She also didn't know why she just suddenly blurted it out.

The months and weeks she gave just to plan this conversation, to come clean and finally breathe it out to the only person she thinks really deserves to know the truth—all of it ruined, sort of. Her plan was far from being perfect, she knew that. Only her bestfriend could come up with a perfect plan. But all she ever wanted was to find a way she could ease it in without sounding too awkward.

_So much for trying to ease it in…_

And with every painfully passing second of silence from Chikane, Himeko's poor heart was threatening to fall apart and break.

"Please say something…" Himeko begged.

"How long have you known?" the question came out of nowhere and it wasn't something Himeko expected. But it was at least something..

"I think…I may have always known…" Himeko's voice was growing smaller and smaller.

"And you only decided to tell me now because-?" There was a distinct lightness in Chikane's voice that Himeko did not fail to notice. Summoning all the courage she had left, she finally looked up to meet her bestfriend's gaze…

And what she found was an amused Chikane staring at her.

"I'm confused. You're not mad at me? Disgusted?" And Himeko was genuinely confused.

"Mad? No. Disgusted? Not even close. I am, however, a little peeved that you are only telling me this now after knowing for so long." Her bestfriend did look a little hurt for a moment but then quickly started smiling at Himeko again.

"I'm sorry, Chikane-chan. I just…"

Himeko had to cut herself short. What was she going to say? She had only recently come to terms with her preference and it wasn't the easiest thing to go through. Besides, how was she really going to tell her bestfriend that the only reason she really couldn't tell her about her sexuality was because, all this time, she has been madly in love with her bestfriend?

No. Himeko would never risk it. She would never risk her friendship. Being comfortable and spending time with Chikane-chan was all she could ever ask for. Even if her bestfriend just assured her that she is fine with Himeko being gay, Himeko would never risk pushing things a bit too far. Maybe one day, she'll confess. But that is such a dark and dreadful day and Himeko refuses to even prepare for it. She'd rather not let it come at all.

"I understand, Himeko. I just wish you had told me sooner. I imagine it's not the easiest thing to come to terms with and I applaud your courage." Showing that she is, in fact, the perfect bestfriend, Chikane scooted closer and hugged Himeko tightly.

Himeko breathed a sigh of relief. It was better than she expected. It was one less secret she had to keep. The other…well…she'd much rather bring it to her grave. Of course it should be noted that the hug was doing wonders to her bodily system. It should be noted but not mentioned. So Himeko just melted deeper into the obviously friendly hug but kept most of her feelings at bay…most.

"I'm so glad you understand. You really are the best, Chikane-chan!" and for the first time in a very long time, Himeko was able to breathe more easily.

After a while and with much hesitation, she decided to detach herself from her bestfriend so as not to aggravate the growing desire in her anymore. She just wanted the whole confession thing to be over with now that she knows her bestfriend is at least okay with it.

But Chikane was not about to let it go. The question Himeko would rather not really answer at the moment came up and she didn't know how to answer.

"So, is there anyone you like?"

It should be said that there was no way in the world anyone would be able to refuse to answer Himemiya Chikane when she looked as curious and amused as she did. It was even harder for Himeko who knew she could never outright refuse anything her bestfriend ever asked of her.

"Well…sort of…"

_That's a safe answer right?_

"Sort of? What kind of answer is that? You just sort of like the girl? So you're not sure what you feel about her yet?" Himeko should have known her bestfriend was not going to let her get away with such a weak answer, but it was worth a try. And besides, Chikane had just offered her a way out of the trap, so she took it.

"Yeah. I'm still sorting out what I really feel for her." Himeko nodded, convinced that what she said sounded true. It was a blatant lie, of course. She knew exactly how she felt for her bestfriend, but again, telling her about it was out of the question.

"Can I at least know who she is?"

"No…"

Nobody has ever refused Himemiya Chikane of anything. Himeko knew this. But there has to be a first time to everything, right? Unfortunately, this was not going to be the first time for it…

"Why not?"

"Because…I'm not ready…yet…"

"But I thought I was your bestfriend."

_Dammit! Why is this so hard? And why does she have to pull the "Bestfriend" card?_

"You are! It's just…as I said…"

"You're still sorting out your feelings for her. I understand that. But what I want to know is who."

"But…"

"Come on… please?"

And just then, Himemiya Chikane pulled out her most awesome puppy-dog eyes. Himeko was a goner. Almost.

In panic, and without really thinking too much about it, Himeko blurted out the only name she knew she could sacrifice…

"Mako-chan."

* * *

"YOU SAID WHAT?!"

Saotome Makoto was visibly upset—understandably. Her roommate Himeko had just finished recounting how her confession went. And when Himeko got to the part where she said she had a crush on Mako, Mako nearly lost it.

"I'm so sorry, Mako-chan. I panicked…" It was a flimsy excuse, but it was the truth. "Besides, I didn't want to act like I was in love with some random girl." And when Mako refused to calm down and stop pacing around their room, Himeko added, "I'd really rather pretend to be in love with you."

It worked wonders, of course. Mako stopped pacing and was now looking incredulously at her roommate. There were rare moments when she wanted to strangle her roommate, and this was one of them. But after what Himeko said, there was no way she could ever bring herself to strangle her roommate now. But she was still worried.

"Look," Mako started as calmly as she could, "I understand why you want to hide the truth from the princess and I sort of am coming to terms with how you just used me to cover you up, but then what? How long are you going to pretend to have a huge crush on me? Also, how much longer do you think you have before your bestfriend intervenes for you? You know she will do anything for you, and I don't think it's beneath her to do just about anything and everything to make sure I fall for you…"

Mako didn't want to preach. In fact she didn't want this conversation. She wasn't the smart one. She was the Jock. She was the athlete running around and being energetic. She didn't want to be the sensible one. She relied heavily on Himeko for that.

Apparently though, when it came to love, her usually sensible roommate was completely and utterly senseless.

"I'm so sorry, Mako-chan. If it's any consolation, I was thinking maybe we can keep up the charade for maybe a month and then I'll say I have given up on you." Himeko smiled wryly.

"Oh? You call that a plan? And how is that going to work? Do you know what happened to the last person who tried to refuse her anything?" Mako asked.

Himeko shook her head slowly in response.

"She used her roommate as a cover! Her own roommate! Can you believe that? And now you're telling me you expect Himemiya Chikane will let it go that easily?" Mako answered. But her tone was softer. She knew her roommate never meant to intentionally harm her. She was probably pushed to a corner.

And knowing how her roommate felt for her bestfriend, Mako was certain Himeko was not just pushed to a corner, she volunteered to stand at the corner and allowed herself to be pushed in to it. That's how annoyingly miserable Himeko was when it came to love.

Mako couldn't remain angry for too long though. There was no way she could remain angry at her roommate for too long.

The truth was she was just a tad bit envious. To be clear, she didn't like Himeko _that_ way. But she did love her roommate to bits and pieces. She envied Himemiya Chikane for having someone as devoted and loving and faithful as Himeko. She wanted her own kind of "Himeko".

She had known about her roommates feelings for the Himemiya heiress for about a year now—way before her roommate had come to terms with what she really felt. She watched how Himeko's feelings evolved and became stronger and stronger everyday. She didn't want to press the matter because she wanted Himeko to open up to her. She wanted to make sure Himeko was ready before she nudged her towards acceptance.

* * *

It was a few months ago, at the night of Himeko's sixteenth birthday when Mako deemed Himeko ready to accept her feelings towards her bestfriend. Himeko wouldn't shut up about how beautiful Himemiya was. She was also holding on to her bestfriend's gift to her as if it was her lifeline.

Casually, Mako eased the question in the middle of Himeko's love-drunken story-telling.

"So when are you going to tell her you love her?"

The question left Himeko dumbfounded. And as usual, she tried to dodge it.

"She knows how much I love her. She's my bestfriend!" Himeko answered, a slight blush for tinting her cheeks.

"We both know that's not what I asked." Mako crossed her arms in front of her chest and smirked at her roommate.

Himeko put on her best confused look. Unfortunately, it was no match for Mako's soul-searching stare. Not a minute passed before Himeko caved in.

"How long have you known?" Himeko looked uncertain, like she wasn't sure how her roommate was going to react.

"Uh, let's see…It wasn't really that hard to figure out. I swear you're an open book most of the time. Besides, it's not like you ever talk about anybody else. You spend most of your day away from her but all you can talk about is her." Mako was looking straight at Himeko teasingly. "If we had switched places, you would've caught me too…without much effort."

Mako almost pitied Himeko. She looked hopelessly in love and scared at the same time.

"Look, I'm not going to say anything. Just…stop pretending you're not in love, okay?"

That was how it all ended…or started depending on how you look at it.

And for months leading up to the confession, she saw her roommate squirm and blush at the thought of finally baring her heart and soul to her beloved. Mako thought it was cute and then pathetic at the same time. Cute because…well Himeko was really cute when she squirms and blushes. Pathetic because they both knew and understood that her chances were one in a billion…bestfriend or not.

Mako couldn't say she knew the Himemiya princess well. To be honest, they have only ever met on very few occasions. Most of those occasions, she was flanked by students or teachers or servants. But those few occasions were enough to convince Mako that Himemiya Chikane was the straightest person she had ever met. There was not a strand of gayness in her…at least Mako thought so. She was hoping she was wrong.

* * *

Himemiya Chikane couldn't concentrate.

She was at a Student Council meeting and was sure they were saying something relevant. Unfortunately, no matter how hard she tried to focus on what they were all saying, her thoughts kept drifting back to what happened during lunch.

Himeko was the last person she'd ever suspect of being gay. She never even saw it coming. Not that she was uncomfortable with the fact that her bestfriend was gay, it's just that she wasn't too happy with the fact that Himeko kept it all to herself for such a long time.

Chikane felt like she had to do something…maybe help out a little bit. But Himeko made her promise not to interfere. There must be something she can do.

And on top of all this was the nagging feeling she had…

She should be happy for her bestfriend, right? That's what a good and loving bestfriend does, right? Support your bestfriend.

So why is she feeling more and more uncomfortable with the fact that her bestfriend is in love?

Chikane shook her head slightly and breathed deeply.

She decided to push these things back and sort them out later. For now, she's going to be there for her bestfriend.

For now…


	2. Chapter 2

A/N:

I forgot to include the all important (but everybody knows) disclaimer. So here it is: *insert boring disclaimer about me not owning KnM and that Kaishaku should have done better*

Also, I'd like to thank everyone who commented!:) Really really appreciate it :)

And finally, to my megane-chan! 8) who patiently waits and betas my posts and insists that I write the next chapter ASAP. :) I LOVE YOU! *.*

Here is the 2nd chapter (obviously!)

Enjoy!

Also, please rate and review because you are awesome! :)

* * *

Himeko woke up with a gnawing feeling of dread.

Yesterday didn't go as planned which should say a lot about what she was hoping would not happen today; at least her roommate Mako had agreed to be Himeko's pretend-love interest for a while. In fact, that very morning, Mako was up and about smiling and teasing. It was a normal thing, except for the excessive "Remember: You're in love with me."

Since Mako woke up, she had been using that sentence on Himeko, followed by whatever else she thinks Himeko should change or do.

"Remember: You're in love with me. Act like it and stop looking like…Wednesday Addams."

That was unfair, Himeko thought as she trudged down the stairs, her heart heavy. She didn't look like Wednesday Addams. She looked like a sad zombie: dark circles under bloodshot eyes, paler than usual complexion, hair that wouldn't cooperate, and slumped shoulders. Wednesday Addams, she definitely wasn't.

As they made their way towards school (well, she trudged while Mako, in her usual cheery self, was running ahead then going back to her to allow her to catch up), Himeko's suspicion that the gods hated her was confirmed when her bestfriend's Mercedes slowed to a halt beside her.

Before anything else, it should be said that this was unprecedented.

There was a reason Himeko and Chikane have to hide every lunch hour. There was a reason Chikane pretends like she doesn't know Himeko on any other school hour. And the reason is this: that every single non-important person in the school who has ever been blessed to be showered upon by the Himemiya Princess' slightest attention was bullied to the point where they had to quit school or move town.

There were at least three incidents that Himeko could remember where her bestfriend's attention put another person in trouble.

The first she heard was during second grade. She didn't know the girl personally but she did saw the entire thing. As far as Himeko knew, the girl was crying because she lost her lunch box and didn't have lunch money. Chikane passed by and offered her sandwich. Himeko thought it was a kind gesture. Others thought differently. Within a week, the girl's family moved out, saying that their daughter was receiving death threats. They were also getting weird calls throughout the day. Their gate was even spray-painted with words Himeko would really rather not say.

This happened again the next year. It was a boy this time. From what Himeko had heard, the boy was just running when he tripped in front of Chikane. Her bestfriend helped the boy up and even offered her handkerchief to wipe the dirt and dust from the boy's uniform. The boy never went to school again. In less than a month, rumours spread that his mother was sent to a mental institution due to mental breakdown. Not long after that, their family moved too.

The third was, by far, the worst.

It was a teacher this time. The rumours were wild and nasty but Chikane's version was so far from the rumours, it had to be true.

According to Chikane, she was out shopping when she saw her homeroom teacher. She said she just greeted her and they made small talk. The teacher invited her to have lunch with her and she agreed, thinking nothing of it. After lunch they said their goodbyes and parted ways.

By Monday, the whole school was buzzing about the lesbian teacher who was taking advantage of their poor Miya-sama. Her bestfriend desperately tried to defend her homeroom teacher, but the more she tried, the more it looked like they were having an affair. Photoshopped pictures of the teacher and other girls were being passed around. Other girls confessed to being sexually harassed. It was stupid and terrible. Within a month, the teacher lost her job. She tried to find other teaching jobs, but everywhere she went, rumours followed.

Before the school ended, news of her suicide reached the school. Nobody thought anything of it. Some even said she should have done it sooner.

It was only at the funeral where they learned that the teacher was, in fact, married to an American. Her husband was a soldier for the US Army and was stationed in Afghanistan at that time. He had tried for months to get sent home as manic messages from his wife reached him. They only allowed him out when the news of her death reached him. They have only been married less than a year. According to Chikane, one of the things the teacher talked about was that she wanted to get pregnant as soon as her husband gets sent home.

It was also the last time Chikane ever paid the slightest attention to anybody who wasn't the star or captain of some important club, or was some form of lesser school idol.

So when her Mercedes slowed beside Himeko and Mako, Himeko felt like she was going to die soon. Fortunately for her, the Star of the Track was her roommate.

As soon as the windows rolled down, Himeko immediately noticed that Chikane wasn't looking at her and was looking, very seriously, at her roommate.

"Good morning, Saotome-san. I'd like to have a word with you."

* * *

It wasn't too long before news of how Saotome Mako (never mind that unknown, yet very fortunate, roommate of hers) was invited for a ride on Miya-sama's limousine.

Everyone was praising Mako for a job well done, although Mako was quite confused as to what job it was that she had done well exactly. The Regionals for the track wouldn't be in a few weeks, and she had not competed for at least a month. So what exactly did she do well?

Nevertheless, there she was: being congratulated upon and greeted a job well done. She accepted them as graciously as any other confused person would accept. Somehow, Mako felt like she had just won a prestigious award for something she couldn't relate to. Although, Mako noted, some were congratulating her in grave tones.

When she was finally able to breathe, sometime around recess, she dragged Himeko (the very fortunate yet unknown roommate who also got a ride on the merits of being roommates with Mako) to one side.

"Do you have any idea what's happening?" Mako asked.

"What do you mean?" Himeko answered looking a little distracted.

"People have been greeting me and congratulating me like I won something. People who would never otherwise say anything to me talk to me now like they've known me all their lives." Mako flailed her hand around. It was getting crazier by the minute and the day wasn't even halfway done yet.

"Oh that…uh yeah: Something that has not happened ever: You got a ride inside Chika-I mean, Himemiya-sama's car is what happened." Himeko answered, wavering at the thought that she couldn't even say her bestfriend's name out loud, in public.

"So?" Mako was still confused.

"So nobody has ever done that. You accomplished something, apparently…and I just went along for the ride." Himeko trailed off. She looked like someone just took her heart and crushed it.

Mako shook her head. She knew the only true reason she got invited inside the car was because she was with Himeko. She was the "very fortunate" roommate, not Himeko, as everyone thought. She was about to ask another question when she noticed Himeko going red and almost in tears at the same time.

"Himeko? Are you okay?"

It was a stupid question. Of course Himeko wasn't okay. But it was these moments when Mako appreciated exactly how strong her roommate was. Despite the fact that she badly wanted to cry, all Himeko did was look up, inhale, and exhale very, very slowly. This was how Himeko always stopped her tears and composed herself.

When a group of people who were passing by looked at Himeko curiously, she immediately put on her biggest smile and said, "Of course I'm okay! Who wouldn't be? I'm still in shock, of course, but I'm okay! Thanks for making me come with you on the ride. You really are the best roommate ever!"

And with that, the people around who heard Himeko nodded approvingly.

In some ways, Mako understood what Himeko just did. It was a good way of deflecting what she really felt. Also, it would convince everyone that it was not, in fact, Himemiya who invited Himeko along for the ride, but Mako. But it was just one of those moments when she really, honestly wished her roommate wasn't gay. It would have been just a tad bit easier to talk about boys and how stupid they were…

Speaking of which, Mako thought, here comes the stupidest of them all.

* * *

If anybody was wondering what happened during the very brief car ride towards school, it would be best seen from Himemiya Chikane's point of view.

It started the night before.

Himemiya Chikane was still deeply troubled about her bestfriend's confession. What was most unsettling was that she didn't even know why she was troubled in the first place.

Was she troubled because her bestfriend was gay? Chikane could answer with a resounding no. She was okay with people's preferences. No, she didn't mind that her bestfriend was gay. So what was it?

Was it because of Saotome Makoto? Based on Himeko's countless stories about her roommate, it would seem that Saotome-san was a kind person. She wasn't what most people would call beautiful, but Chikane knew Himeko would never love a person based on how she looked like. Besides, Saotome was a different kind of beautiful. She definitely looked like a good thing for Himeko.

_Is she, really? Is she really good enough for Himeko?_

The question came out of nowhere. And the truth was that she didn't know Himeko's roommate all too well. She had to admit that maybe, Himeko's stories about her were just a bit biased. Love can definitely do that to you, right?

_Love._

Himeko never said anything about love, right? She just liked Saotome-san. No, she said she was still sorting out her feelings for her roommate; which may be the reason why Chikane was troubled.

What if Himeko really fell in love with the Track Star? And what if Himeko's feelings remain unrequited? What if Saotome rejects Himeko? What would Chikane do when her bestfriend gets her heartbroken? The answer to that was simple, of course. She would be there. She would be there to support her bestfriend and help her heal and move on. She would make Himeko happy as much as she can. She would do what a bestfriend is supposed to do…

She would be there.

But the haunting thought that maybe Saotome Makoto wasn't good enough for Himeko still troubled Chikane so much that next morning, as they were driving towards school, she did something she never quite understood why.

She stopped the car and asked Saotome Makoto to ride with her to school.

Being the overtly cautious person that she was, she made sure to invite Saotome alone. Everyone knew her as the youngest captain of the Track Team. Nobody would question her motives. Nobody would dare harm one of the pride of the school.

Also, she knew Saotome-san wouldn't have a choice but to ask Himeko to join them.

Inside the car, Chikane started her covert interview. She knew she only had a few minutes. She had to use them wisely.

"So, Saotome-san, how is our track team looking?" Chikane really could not care less about the track team. What she wanted to hear was whether or not Himeko's roommate was a positive or negative person.

"We are looking good. We train almost everyday and we are beating our time constantly." Saotome answered with nary a bat of an eyelash.

"And are there any problem members?" Chikane made sure she looked like she was really, really interested with their team.

"I wouldn't call anybody a problem. We are constantly battling against ourselves, our time. Everybody's fighting their own battles. However, we make sure we still help each other. So, no, I do not think I can call anybody a problem member."

Chikane heard the distinct sound of a leader: one of those leaders who could rally people to a great cause without too much effort.

"And how would you handle your team if you lost?"

At this, Chikane was surprised to see Saotome's face grow even gentler.

"As long as they did their best and beat their own records, I would still consider it a win for us-trophy or no trophy."

It was here when the car slowed to a stop. Chikane wanted to ask Saotome one last question but before she could, the other girl already spoke up.

"Look, I'm really grateful for the car ride, but I'm supposed to meet my team in a few minutes. I have to go." She opened the car door and ran as fast as she could while screaming, "I'll see you at class, Himeko!"

As Himeko blushed, bowed, and said her thank you's too, all Chikane could think of was how perfect Saotome Makoto was for her bestfriend.

Sometime around recess, she saw Himeko and Saotome talking. Himeko looked kind of sad to the point of tears. But then, suddenly, her face brightened to a blush. She was now smiling…and what a beautiful thing it was to see…

Himeko's smile.

It was the first thing she noticed about Himeko. It was bright, beautiful, and warm; as if the entire world was, on the entire duration of her smile, all right. She couldn't help but think that the whole world was missing out on something amazingly beautiful every time Himeko would smile. And now, that smile was meant for only one person.

Unconsciously, Chikane clutched her chest where her heart was…and this troubled her further.

* * *

You know how your stomach would just suddenly lurch and rumble whenever you're nervous? Like somehow you've eaten something awful and now it's acting up? Kurusugawa Himeko was feeling that way as she slowly walked towards the Rose Garden.

She wanted to see Chikane-chan and yet she didn't…at the same time.

It was confusing and tiring and awful at the same time, but on and on she walked. Her desire to see her beloved so overpowered everything else she felt at that time, it seemed like her legs had a mind of their own.

She didn't know whether to be relieved or disappointed then when she found the Rose Garden empty.

But for the first time that day, Himeko felt at peace. The whole morning had been stressful and tiring. Everybody had been walking up to her, asking her if Chikane-chan said anything to her during the car ride. The truth was that she felt like she wasn't there at all. Oh she stared at and fell in love all over again with her bestfriend and everything. But she felt empty all at the same time. She knew it was selfish and bordering extreme jealousy when Chikane only paid attention to Mako-chan. Chikane-chan had her reasons. Mostly it was because she would rather be dead than be caught with Himeko alone. (And this is the first time that sentence would mean something positive.) But still, it hurt a lot.

All morning, she had been telling people how kind Mako-chan was for inviting her to come and ride with the Himemiya princess. All morning long she had been pretending like it was such a huge thing to see her roommate talking to the princess. All morning long she had been pretending like it was the best damned thing ever to happen to her.

All morning long, her heart had been breaking to millions of tiny pieces.

So yes, she was kind of glad Chikane-chan wasn't there yet. Her heart was now relaxing and she felt all the tension in her body slowly drip away.

Soon she felt the sweet, sweet embrace of sleep taking over her…she didn't even mind if she missed the rest of the afternoon classes.

* * *

Chikane was rapidly losing her patience. She was also rapidly going insane.

She had been excused from class all morning. But that didn't mean she had nothing to do. On the contrary, she wished she _was_ in class. She'd rather sit idly pretend to—oh who was she kidding? It's not like those teachers would actually just let her sit idly by. She would most definitely be called to recite ninety-five percent of the time.

However, she would still prefer that than dealing with the unexplainable amount of paperwork the Student Council managed to attain within a matter of hours. (She could swear she finished them all the night before.) And if only it was just the paperwork. From time to time, someone would come in and disrupt her with petty grievances: things they could have worked on if they only tried just a little harder.

Contrary to what most people believed, Chikane was not, in fact, perfect. She just tries a little harder all the time. She was not born talented. She was born a baby, with all the pettiness and the neediness of one. She just happened to have extremely supportive parents and lacked nothing, resource-wise. But even then, she still did her best. She gave nothing but her best.

All morning, she had been giving her best, and now she was tired. She wasn't able to sleep well the night before. She was tired and exhausted and now, she refuses to give anyone anything anymore.

"Look, I'm sure you think this is important, and I'm sure it is but I have to go."

She left the Kendo club president with such a curt dismissal using the sternest voice she had ever used that everyone suddenly stopped what they were doing. The upside, however, to being the school princess was that they could forgive her for pretty much anything. And everyone knew how to apologize to you immediately.

"I'm so sorry, Himemiya-sama." He looked crestfallen and heartbroken at the same time that for a second, Chikane actually pitied him. But Himeko was waiting…and she wouldn't miss the only time she could share with her bestfriend for the world.

She walked as fast as she could, her face trying hard not to betray anything. She greeted everyone who greeted her, but did not stop for anyone, not even the school principal.

As soon as she was sure nobody was following her, she slipped in to the Rose Garden, her heart pounding with anticipation.

And all the world suddenly stopped, and all of the world's problems were, for a moment, solved as Chikane was met by the peaceful figure of a sleeping Himeko.

Chikane wouldn't dare wake up Himeko. For some unknown reason, she felt all the tension in her body drain away as she stared at her bestfriend sleeping. The thought that Saotome Makoto had the pleasure of looking at Himeko like this every night made her just a little bit jealous.

"How could anybody not fall in love with you, Himeko?" she wondered audibly. It was true. She couldn't believe Saotome Makoto would never fall in love with Himeko. With the way they treated each other, Chikane knew that if Himeko confessed to Saotome, Himeko would never be rejected.

"Any girl would be really lucky to have you… I know I am…" Chikane muttered under her breath.

_But I don't have you, do I?_

_And soon, I won't have even the slightest portion of you…_

A wave of pain and sadness washed over Chikane. She thought about the day they both won't have time for each other. Chikane was sure Saotome-san was going to be a great lover. She could definitely make Himeko happy. And Chikane…

Well, she would be busy doing a lot of other things. Among them: applauding Himeko and Saotome's relationship; supporting it with all her heart.

She didn't notice when she started inching closer to her sleeping bestfriend. But soon, she found her face mere inches from her bestfriend's. She had the inescapable urge to touch her bestfriend's face.

And the more she stared at her bestfriend, the more she couldn't resist wanting to be closer…wanting nothing more than to be so close, they could meld together. Her eyes wandered all over Himeko's face and fell upon her bestfriend's slightly parted lips.

And the desire to touch her bestfriend's lips with hers was now so powerful, not even Himemiya Chikane was able to resist it…


	3. Chapter 3

A/N : *insert stupid excuse as to why she missed two weeks worth of update*

*insert heartfelt apology*

I'm just going to take this one line to say that I love my girlfriend very much. I love you 3

also, disclaimer. but you already know that.

so here it is, chapter 3. Hope you enjoy!

* * *

Himemiya Chikane's heart was pounding.

_What did I just do?_

She kissed her bestfriend was what she did.

_What came over me?_

Of course she was expected to do right by her bestfriend, but what was she going to say? 'Himeko, I kissed you while you were asleep. Forgive me'?

Even in her head, Chikane knew it sounded…off. Besides, Himeko is in love with Saotome-san.

_Is she? Because yesterday, she said—_

Chikane knew exactly what Himeko said the day before. She said she was still sorting out her feelings. That meant that she did have feelings for Saotome-san, although what they were, exactly, Himeko still has to determine. The fact that she knew this, and still did what she did was betrayal.

_And if I told her?_

If she told Himeko about what she just did…? No. No. No. That would be too terrible. Already, she knew Himeko was alone in facing her feelings for Saotome-san. And if she were to act properly and tell Himeko what she just did, she knew she would lose Himeko. Himeko would be even more alone. It is a far too terrible thing to do to her bestfriend.

Besides, she could tell Himeko was obviously in love with Saotome-san. She was just dreaming about her. The mere mention of Saotome-san's name flusters her. Himeko was distracted, pre-occupied, and always blushing.

_And it is breaking my heart…_

Himemiya Chikane knew she was losing her bestfriend—the most important person in her life. But what that meant exactly, she was yet to find out.

* * *

Since she met her bestfriend and lunch mate, the Himemiya heiress, Himeko has had plenty of—suggestive—dreams. These dreams were always just pictures; as if she was looking at a slideshow presentation of highly arousing pictures of her bestfriend. None of them were conversational or story-like.

However, when Himeko woke up after dozing off to sleep during lunch, she had a horrific realization: her most recent dream involved her bestfriend stealing a kiss from her—while she was sleeping! No, that wasn't the horrific part. The horrific part was that when she woke up, Chikane-chan was right there, peacefully drinking her tea!

"Good afternoon, sleepy head. You should be hungry by now."

It was nothing short of a wonder how someone could sound so beautiful even when teasing. Himeko had a sudden thought that if Chikane-chan's voice dipped just a little lower, it would possibly be the most seductive voice in the universe. This stray thought of course made her blush…with some other parts getting hotter than they should be.

"Were you dreaming of Saotome-san?"

Himeko wasn't quite ready for the question. Well, truth be told, she wasn't actually ready for which lie she should tell right now: that yes, she was dreaming of Mako-chan, or that she was just having one of those good dreams. A wiser person would have chosen the latter. But Himeko, when faced with her bestfriend, was never a measure wiser than an amoeba. So she chose the former.

Someone please hand her a sledgehammer and beg her to hit her head repeatedly. Who knows? It may awaken her sleeping brain cells.

"Uh…yeah. Mako-chan…" Himeko muttered, not even daring to look at Chikane-chan's eyes.

"You don't need to be shy about it, Himeko. I don't mind. Why don't you tell me all about it while we eat?" Himeko thought she heard a tone of relief from Chikane-chan. She would have thought it weird had she not been so pre-occupied watching her bestfriend prepare the tea set and pour the fragrant tea.

_She really is a princess: poised, calm, graceful._

Himeko observed even the tiniest movement, mesmerized. It was almost as if everything Chikane-chan did was a slow dance: a graceful, seductive dance…and it was pulling Himeko in. She watched as even the mere act of breathing, her chest rising and falling, was like a haunting melody somewhere inside Himeko's mind. Not watching it, the effort of not staring at the rhythm before her very eyes, was almost as hard as…Organic Chemistry.

"Himeko?"

When poor, mesmerized Himeko woke up from her reverie, she found her jaw slightly open and staring at, of all places, her bestfriend's quite prominent chest. Her throat suddenly felt dry and her cheeks were on fire.

"Uh…Yes?" she didn't want to think about how she looked like at the moment, but she was hoping Chikane-chan didn't notice she was staring, and most especially where she was staring.

"You seem distracted today. Is anything wrong?"

"Yeah, no, I'm fine." At the back of her mind, Himeko knew that she just said 'Yeah' and 'No' in the same sentence. "Lack of sleep," was what she offered as an excuse. It wasn't really an excuse. She really hasn't been sleeping too well for the past few weeks. But she couldn't be honest at the moment, either.

When Himeko found that her bestfriend was still looking at her with that worried and troubled expression she knew she had to change the subject fast.

"Come on, let's eat. I'm starving!"

* * *

To his credit, Oogami Souma was not always the prettiest boy in town. He used to be the second most handsome boy in town—that is until his brother left Mahoroba. So now, Oogami Souma was the Prince. As much as he hated that title, he hated the rumour that came with it even more.

That stupid rumour was, obviously, that he was pledged to be married to the Princess, Himemiya Chikane.

First of all, he didn't like the oujo-sama types. He preferred the simpler girls, the quiet ones, the ones almost nobody knew. To be more specific, he preferred the simple girl, the quiet one, the one almost nobody knew. One would think that his standing as the duly appointed Prince would at least boost his confidence and declare his everlasting love to the girl he desired. Unfortunately, his standing as the duly appointed Prince was exactly what was stopping him from confessing.

The only way he knew he could reach out to her was through her roommate.

"Saotome-san! Do you have any good news for me?"

The captain of the Track team looked confused for a moment, then annoyed, then amused. By the end of the mood shifts, Souma could swear she was about to laugh.

"Give it up, Souma. I have been giving you good press all this time. In fact, I've been talking about you so much she's starting to think I have a crush on you now." She shook her head. "She's just not interested." Saotome patted him lightly on the shoulder, as if comforting him.

"Does she like someone else?" It's not like Souma was overconfident. Quite the opposite of it, else he wouldn't be bribing Saotome every week. But still, how can you not like the Prince?

"I can't really tell you that. Look, why don't you ask her yourself?"

"I can't do that!"

"Why not?"

It sounded almost like a challenge. Souma wasn't one to back out of a challenge, but what Saotome was asking was too much

"Because I just can't…Because Kurusugawa-san would get hurt if people found out."

He didn't want to explain. She wouldn't understand anyway. Nobody would understand. He wanted to confess his feelings for Himeko so badly. Unfortunately, the moment everybody finds out about his feelings, Himeko would be in trouble. And in Mahoroba, there is no such thing as a secret.

After that frustrating and rather uneventful conversation with Saotome, Souma knew there was only one other person who would understand.

Himemiya Chikane.

* * *

You know the most frustrating thing about this story is that Saotome Makoto was also in love. The second most frustrating thing about all this is that she was in love with the only person she should never have fallen in love with in the first place: Oogami Souma.

Mako knew he was waaay above her league. She may be Captain, but she was not exactly the prettiest girl in town. This was the same argument she used against Himeko when Himeko tried to justify her pretend feelings for her by saying that Mako was pretty. Mako knew she wasn't at all pretty.

But she wasn't lying when she said she had been giving good press for Souma. How could she not give good press? He was all she ever wanted to talk about. At first she thought it was fun how she and Souma would meet and have small talk. Said small talk would end with the usual reminder: to make sure that Kurusugawa Himeko knew exactly how awesome Oogami Souma was. But now, these small talks were getting frustrating.

Himeko, of course, couldn't care less about how awesome Souma was. First of all, she was gay. Second, she was also madly in love with someone else. If the walls of their small room could talk, they would be complaining about how the only two things they talked about were the Prince and the Princess. But while Himeko denied her feelings for a long time, Mako shrugged and admitted it as if it was nothing.

What Mako couldn't admit though was the favour Souma asked of her.

"Other than that awkward car ride, did anything else happen to you today, Himeko?" It was after school and they were walking back. Neither the Prince nor the Princess was to be seen, so the roommates decided to walk home early.

"Does it count when I tell you that I dreamt that she kissed me?" Himeko was blushing, and Mako didn't have to look at her to know it.

"No. You always dream about her." She said teasingly, wrapping her arm around Himeko's shoulders.

"I know. But today was so vivid, it was as if it was real. And you know the most embarrassing part?"

"You woke up and she was there?"

"How'd you know?"

"I couldn't think of anything more embarrassing…unless she said you were moaning and talking in your sleep."

"That would have been embarrassing _and_ awkward."

They both laughed at the thought but then quieted down when a few girls who were passing by gave them odd looks. After a while, it was Himeko's turn to ask.

"How about you? Did you talk to Souma today?"

"Mhm…"

"What about?"

"Oh you know, the usual stuff: Track, sports, Track, sports. We even talked about sports and Track."

"Change the subject then…" Himeko offered.

"Nah. It's okay. I quite enjoy talking to him about those things."

They were quiet after that…until Himeko stopped walking and looked up at the orange sky. Saotome didn't have to look closely to know that, try as Himeko might, tears were already falling.

"We make quite a pair, don't we, Mako-chan?" Mako could hear the tremble in her roommate's voice

"What do you mean?" She knew exactly what Himeko meant. She just didn't want to say it out loud.

"Here we are, both in love with the only two people we should never fall in love with, desperate for their slightest attention."

Mako didn't know when her tears started falling.

* * *

So now, we have come full circle. But it is near evening now. The orange sky is rapidly turning gray. The warmth of the sun is disappearing, only to be replaced by all too familiar chill of the night.

Himemiya Chikane wasted no time when she got home. Before Otoha could even ask, Chikane had already asked for a cold bath, possibly with a bath tub full of ice. With a slightly fazed look, Otoha gave a small bow and disappeared. A few minutes later, she gently knocked on her oujo-sama's door, announcing that the ice cold bath was ready.

Despite the unbearable coldness, Chikane still could not forget what happened. Every inch of her body was cold and numb, save for her lips. As her trembling hands reached up to touch her lips, she was pleasantly surprised to find that they were still warm…and immediately, her thoughts came back to this afternoon.

Specifically, they came rushing back to that moment when the world disappeared and all thoughts came crashing and flying out the window…that moment when Himemiya Chikane was reduced to nothing more than a fragile little girl…that moment when Himemiya Chikane understood what it felt like to let her restraints go…that singular moment when Himemiya Chikane let down her guard.

…that moment she now swears will never happen again.

For Himeko.


End file.
